Tonori: modification suggestion

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wushin
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Re: Tonori: modification suggestion

Post by wushin »

Here is some story to go with it.

After the Earthquake, food and supplies were low in Gispaa and Tulimshar. Most of the back stock had been destroyed by the Earthquake or Devoured by the lava. Shortly after, reports starting pouring in, Monsters, never before seen, had attacked caravans along the trade route between Tulimshar and Gispaa. Lieutenant Dausen sent out an expedition to discover the source of these monsters. So far they have only returned sightings that are odd. The survivors are often found to be hysterical, claiming the desert rose up and attacked them. Lieutenant Dausen appealed to the Council of Wizards to ask for help from neighboring Abel. A messenger was sent by boat. By the time the messenger from the council showed up, King Maud Adeeb was already organizing a convoy to get much needed aid into the disaster areas of Gispaa and Tulimshar. As Abel had been far enough away from the center of the Earthquake. After the monsters were pushed back and trade routes were reopened, life & trade flourished among all three cities. The cooperation inspired peace between all three cities & allowed for the “Tonori-Tempus accord” to be signed. The “Tonori-Tempus” accord formed the First Keshlem Empire under the wise rule of Emperor Maud Adeeb.

Soon after, other expeditions were launched to discover what new treasures the disasters had unearthed and what new terrors have be unleashed. In the Gispaa mines, rare ores & minerals were found in new caverns opened in the Crystalline Spine. Gisphar, once a rare Crystal, is now found throughout the mines and caverns. The increased availability will assuredly expedite research into new alloys and uses. One property of Gisphar is easy to discern, the luminescence tends to attract monsters to it. There is even a rumor of a monster that uses it as bait.
Gispaa wasn't alone in new areas to explore underground. In Tulimshar, the Sewers have been built to help irrigate fields and feed running water to buildings. While excavating beneath the town to put in sewers, ruins were discovered. No one is 100% sure what they are for, but the magic school seems to have quite the interest in them. Rumors point to a magical charm hidden behind multiple challenges. As the construction has finished, the Council approved more permits and new shops are opening up. The increased trade among the empire has benefited commerce in Tulimshar.
Abel is becoming a melting pot from the rest of the empire, hosting some of the best artisans and brightest minds from Tulimshar, Gispaa, and even far off places like Thermin and Nilvalis. The influx of people from the increase of trading has turned Abel into a bustling hub of commerce, politics and intrigue. “There is rumored to be a rumor for every alley.”, modern Abel graffiti. The farmlands outside the city have become the empires bread basket. Crops can be seen sewn into the ground for miles. Refugees from Gispaa and Tulimshar where placed here in temporary dwellings. The refugees had never seen anything like it back in their homelands. The affectionately called it “Mana's Cradle” after saving so many lives.
Even the Frewthe saw changes as the Great Rift appeared and rent the Deep Desert, their tribal homeland, in twain.
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tux9th
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Re: Tonori: modification suggestion

Post by tux9th »

There is one thing that puzzles me about the story.

The great quake as far as I know was supposed to be a long time ago. Yet when reading your story it feels like the quake was a few months ago.

Second thing is. The distance between Tulimshar and Gispaa looks on the world concept overview like it's thrice the size of full Argaes. Tough we only have a very small part mapped out on Argaes to fill the whole continent on Tonori and keep the size relations to the World Geography would need more than 5 or 6 new maps. Either you have to change the size of the continents or make a whole lot more maps.
This just came into my mind today so just consider this.

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wushin
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Re: Tonori: modification suggestion

Post by wushin »

Nope, Earthquake is like always yesterday.
Elanore.
L_NoHealMessage:
124
mes "[Elanore the Healer]";
125
mes "\"I'm sorry but unless you are young and in need, I can't help you, and your level is already higher than ten.";
126
mes "With so many people still injured from the earthquake, I really have no time to help.";
127
mes "You can get some rest in the inn near here.\"";
128
goto L_Close;

ha, yeah, scale is wrong, but that background is a SVG so I can fix that as soon as I find that Argeas raster again.
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Jenalya
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Re: Tonori: modification suggestion

Post by Jenalya »

tux9th wrote: Second thing is. The distance between Tulimshar and Gispaa looks on the world concept overview like it's thrice the size of full Argaes. Tough we only have a very small part mapped out on Argaes to fill the whole continent on Tonori and keep the size relations to the World Geography would need more than 5 or 6 new maps. Either you have to change the size of the continents or make a whole lot more maps.
What about making something similiar to the ferry travels, but over land? There could be caravan camps at some point, where you can join a caravan e.g. through the desert to Abel by paying a travel fee, and then you pop up at another caravan camp near Abel.

About the backstory itself, it's mostly nice, but it seems kind of unrealistic to me that the rulers of Tulimshar and Gispaa would easily subordinate to the ruler of Abel, just because there's beneficial trading between the places.
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wushin
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Re: Tonori: modification suggestion

Post by wushin »

Yeah, I should have posted this with it. (there are a few more details and the rework I'm doing for the Frewthe nomadic farmers.)

I. Rule
I. Emperor
II. Council of Wizards
III. Trade Guilds

Of course Tulimshar & Gispaa weren't so easy to hand over powers. It was called an Accord because all parties reached an agreement, The Council of Wizards, The Gispaan Trade Guilds and The Emperor of Tempus All share power and influence over the empire. Also I'm just going by what the wiki says and it says Tulimshar and Gispaa are both part of Keshlem empire.
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wushin
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Re: Tonori: modification suggestion

Post by wushin »

I'd Actually like to push Tempus/Keshlem Empire out of Tonori for now. The wiki just kinda says "both part of keshlem empire" no explanation. Other then from the sounds of it Keshlems are the kind of Dbags who would have invaded during the Earthquake.
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wushin
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Re: Tonori: modification suggestion

Post by wushin »

ok, ok. How does this sound?
(in place of peace agreement paragrapgh and Tonori NOT being part of the Keshlem Empire, just partly kinda occupied. Think US in Afganistan)

After the earthquake, Tempus seized the opportunity of a weakened Tonori state. Through the guise of "Aide Stations" Tempus appears to have set-up forward camps and only distributing aid to those that help further Tempus and not Tonori goals. In Tulimshar, The recent decision of the Council of Wizards made to not eject the Tempus Humanitarian stations has put it in direct conflict with the Mages at the Magic School. Meanwhile, Gispaa is unable to help as the Lava flows have cut off their access to the northern river and all the rest of the manpower has been going to defending their walls from the new hordes of monsters.
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wushin
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Re: Tonori: modification suggestion

Post by wushin »

Dropped Tempus from Story altogether. It would seem Tempus doesn't fit now that some of it's content has been removed from mainline on wiki. Search Keshlem. Also we should fix the Wiki so Tonori is NOT under control or Keshlem Empire as that would be Tempus.

Updated Tonori Story and Map.

http://i.imgur.com/aCBYGye.jpg
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