Chuck Norris Jokes

[Red Lord]

This was an interesting and pretty hilarious discussion on the game yesterday. Info on

Just post a Chuck Norris Joke you have heard or thought was funny.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Jesus wears a wristband that says W.W.C.N.D.

Info about Chuck here. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Norris

[Superkoop]

Chuck Norris jokes are like lol cats, they're out.

You must be new to the Internet...

[Shaggy]

Thank you BlackLord for insulting me and every other Christian!

[Crush]

Thank you BlackLord for insulting me and every other Christian!

Jesus said you shouldn't bother:

Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you. - Matthew 5:11-12

[Superkoop]

Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you. - Matthew 5:11-12

Indeed =D

[Shaggy]

If it was just against me, I'd have to agree with your quote, however, as it was Christ who was being talked about, I have to speak out.

[Dr Wahl]

Whoa there cowboy. No need to get excited...

Being the son of a pastor, I understand the Christian religion fairly well, and I have no reason to believe this was intended to insult anyone. I'm sure if Jesus was reading the forums, he would have laughed (and probably made some pretty badass pixel art and particle effects).


Edit:

@Crush: I believe that was Matthew who said that, not Jesus, but I could be mistaken.

[Jaxad0127]

@Crush: I believe that was Matthew who said that, not Jesus, but I could be mistaken.

Matthew was quoting Jesus.

[Dr Wahl]

Ya, I thought that could be it, but I am too lazy to grab my Bible (actually, I'm at work and my Bible is at home, so I'm too lazy to use google, sad D= )

[Superkoop]

@Crush: I believe that was Matthew who said that, not Jesus, but I could be mistaken.

Matthew was quoting Jesus.

And God wrote the whole Bible anyhow. =)

[Dr Wahl]

I hear that, according to the Bible, God didn't create giraffes. They were created when Chuck Norris upper cutted a horse.

[Crush]

The bible quote above is from the sermon on the mount, a speech of jesus which is usually considered as his most important one by most theologists because it sums up Jesus opinions about almost everything that mattered to him.

I would consider the factual accuracy of the whole bible quite disputable. But this doesn't mean that the ideological points of view described in it should be taken more or less serious. It doesn't matter for the weight of an argument if it has been invented by someone else who is quoted by the author or if it has been invented by an author and laid into the mouth of a (possibly) fictional character.

This is, by the way, the way any religious text should be interpreted in my opinion: Not as dogmas you have to follow without thinking about them but rather as points of view you can or can not agree with. I agree, for example, with most (but not everything) of the things Jesus, Buddah or Muhammad said (or what had been attributed to them in the holy scriptures of their respective religions) but I don't agree with many of the opinions from the old testament like completely unnecessary and over-the-top rules like stoning people for collecting firewood at sunday (I am not making this up!).

[Rotonen]

This thread calls for: http://www.thebricktestament.com/

A good concentratedly highlighted satirical (but yet factually accurate and correct) summary of the good book.

I hope he someday finishes that one, it's a good one.

Also not to be completely offtopic, let's throw US politics in here too: http://youtube.com/watch?v=MDUQW8LUMs8

[Black Don]

Jeepers I was looking for some funny Chuck Norris Jokes not a Theological debate.

[Daegun]

Here, let's get back on topic.

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Loads of great one liners about Mr. Norris.