I must go, my people don't really need me

[melkior]

It seems I am sentenced to writing walls of text. I apologise in advance. If it's any consolation, this is probably the last one in a while.

It sucks to realise that you're not relevant anymore. It sucks even more when on top of that, you seem to be stepping on everyone's toes. And it seems everyone has a much better chance of succeeding without my interference. In a way, I'm sad it took me this long to realise this, I should've recognised this sooner.

Most of the ideas that I have tried to introduce into TMWC had been turned down or simply ignored. Given the reactions (or lack of) they were met with, they were bad/unrealistic ideas, or concepts that don't seem to work with TMWC's direction. That's fine. But I don't know how to work any other way, so the only thing left for me is to shut up or leave. And by now, everyone should know that I'm really bad at shutting up. I have been called out by several TMWC members and/or advisors about certain thoughts I had to share.

That on its own is not bad, but what honestly hurt me was the feeling of hostility that accompanied some of those. Looking back on it, I think that hostility was just a byproduct of misunderstanding what I was attempting to do. At least I hope it was. Regardless, it obviously wasn't working out.

I don't want the TMWC to become a papacy, where you need to wait for somebody's death for a new position to open up. I was voted in by the community, something that I honestly felt honoured about, as I care about this community very, very much. I also think I have failed this community in a way that I couldn't seem to fit in with TMWC's idea of the project. For that reason, I think it's my duty to step down as a GM and TMWC member, and let someone else try where I have failed.

I'm not doing this lightly, and I have been thinking about it for some time now. Recently, I seem to have made a number of blunders where I didn't even see how my behaviour might've bothered my fellow TMWC members. I apologise profusely for that. This made me think about this more, and I came to the conclusion that it was time for me to write this post.

I would like to apologise to everyone that I might've hurt unintentionally. I would especially like to apologise to the community as a whole — you have shown me trust by voting for me, and I feel I have failed you. I am incredibly sorry for that.

To my fellow GMs and the rest of TMWC, I am sorry as well. I've realised I was producing too much tension where there should've been none.

I hope that the community will speak up on issues more. Talk about those admin responsibilities or anything else that's thrown at you. Even if you don't know anything about it, jump into the conversation, learn what it's all about. You, players, are this game. Not the devs, or admins, or GMs. Speak up when you think you need to, make sure you are heard.

My ideas hadn't found much support, but I hope yours will.

I wish you all the best, and have fun!

Melkior

PS I'll still be around, just not as much.

[prsm]

If you haven't done the job, well you just don't get it!

Thank you for being a GM bro, be safe and keep playing. Your opinions matter, everyone's opinions matter.

Prsm

[SriNitayanda]

It seems I am sentenced to writing walls of text. I apologise in advance. If it's any consolation, this is probably the last one in a while.

Yes well, so shut up and stay.

I can say for myself that i dont comment on last posts, cause like you said i dont know anything about what is needed to admin tmw, so i dont think i can add to this topic except adding some oil to the ongoing flame.
I am sad to hear you and maybe frost are leaving or taking a break or whatever from the project, its true some of us are quiet as players but we appreciate your work, even if you dont read it on daily basis.

well its not goodbye so see you around i hope you both will change the decision you made.

[o11c]

It's sad to see this end this way.

Well, I've taken care of the technical side of things. I did not add you to the Advisor group nor remove you from the Tester group, let me know if I should change either of those.

[blackrazor]

I think you are needed. I hope you reconsider. Pushing change or radical ideas is very lonely. It's also very important. Good luck.

[Kazenawa]

From what I've been able to see (from a player point of view), I think you've done your job greatly.
I don't know any "technical" detail, but to me you seemed fair and honest. I've always been happy to gave you my vote during your nomination.

You've made your choice, and I doubt we can change this. I respect your decision to leave, because you do what you want, of course.
Well, I just wanted to thank you for all you've done.

I hope to see you around,

Kaze

[Cassy]

Oh Mel, come on, what do you think you are doing?
You have a good heart and clear mind which are placed perfectly inside TMWC.
Your ideas are great and you know how to speak to players which is something TMWC lacks of.
IMO you are needed, even though you won't hear it from someone.

Please reconsider your decision.

[Freya]

shakes the melkior

Unfortunately will be missed.

I hope good projects done elsewhere, you are a good programmer and very creative.
The world needs people beyond just writing lines of code.

Thank you for everything you did, know that there are people who like you.

Please do not stop with the Confused Tree.

[WildX]

You were my favourite person in the TMWC, someone finally made some sense and had all the right ideas and intentions. I'm sure the community would elect you again a thousand times if it was possible. You should reconsider your decision, you're doing damage by leaving the TMWC, not by staying in it.

[Dyna]

TMWC has lost one of it's greatest assets when it comes to player relations. I hope you guys learn from this mistake and change something so you stop losing the people who care the most and hate seeing the fighting going on.

But that's not Mel's job anymore and he can go back to trying to enjoy the game again...hopefully. I won't go asking him to reconsider, I know how much value he placed into being a GM and the decision wasn't taken lightly. So asking that of him is rather cruel. Enjoy the retirement Mel!

[melkior]

Well, I've taken care of the technical side of things. I did not add you to the Advisor group nor remove you from the Tester group, let me know if I should change either of those.

Thank you. I do not want to be an Advisor. I could not contribute as a member, therefore, I'll be even more useless as an advisor. Besides, I think we have too many of those as it is.

First of all, I'd really like to thank you all for your kind words, both those in this thread and those that I've received in PMs. I will reply to all of those who have sent me PMs, I just need some time to put my thoughts in order, so it may take a day or two.

I don't think I was a bad GM. At least I hope I wasn't one. But I was a bad TMWC member. Pick any discussion on any remotely important topic and my opinion was the exact opposite of everyone else's. If anyone agreed with me... well, they never spoke up to let me know.

TMWC functions. I may not like the way it functions, but it does. I have been called out for causing strife where there was none, and I was named as a person who did not act in the projects best interests. It doesn't matter at all if I was right or wrong here. What does matter is that my opinion was alone and that by itself made it wrong.

I am too old to be fighting windmills, and too tired to throw myself into a revolution, one that I cannot win. I also do not want to be the proverbial bull in a china shop.

The things I find trivial, others find important and vice versa. I was half-expecting to be asked to leave soon, anyway. Maybe that's not true, but just the fact that I felt it was going to happen should be an indication enough of how I did not fit in.

This gets to you after a while. I'm very passionate about things I like and I was throwing myself all in, piling up stress on myself where there should be none. Some people are simply not cut out for certain things, and I have no trouble admitting that there are simply things I'm not good at.

I hear there are going to be some changes around here. I hope they're for the best. I wish TMWC the best of luck in managing this game.

If I may add one more thing... I don't think the job of a GM is hard. It's not always pretty, but it's not too bad, either. Most of the time it's utterly boring. Personally, I liked it just fine. It was the TMWC member part that got to me. If there had been an option to stay as a GM, but without being a TMWC member, I would've picked that. But there isn't one, and given how things work, there can't and shouldn't be one.

Anyway, I'm not quitting the game, I'll still be around. So don't go spreading any false rumours around. In fact, I'm logged on right now, as I'm writing this.

*is hoping he'll be forgiven for another wall of text*

[WildX]

Well, I've taken care of the technical side of things. I did not add you to the Advisor group nor remove you from the Tester group, let me know if I should change either of those.

Thank you. I do not want to be an Advisor. I could not contribute as a member, therefore, I'll be even more useless as an advisor. Besides, I think we have too many of those as it is.

First of all, I'd really like to thank you all for your kind words, both those in this thread and those that I've received in PMs. I will reply to all of those who have sent me PMs, I just need some time to put my thoughts in order, so it may take a day or two.

I don't think I was a bad GM. At least I hope I wasn't one. But I was a bad TMWC member. Pick any discussion on any remotely important topic and my opinion was the exact opposite of everyone else's. If anyone agreed with me... well, they never spoke up to let me know.

TMWC functions. I may not like the way it functions, but it does. I have been called out for causing strife where there was none, and I was named as a person who did not act in the projects best interests. It doesn't matter at all if I was right or wrong here. What does matter is that my opinion was alone and that by itself made it wrong.

I am too old to be fighting windmills, and too tired to throw myself into a revolution, one that I cannot win. I also do not want to be the proverbial bull in a china shop.

The things I find trivial, others find important and vice versa. I was half-expecting to be asked to leave soon, anyway. Maybe that's not true, but just the fact that I felt it was going to happen should be an indication enough of how I did not fit in.

This gets to you after a while. I'm very passionate about things I like and I was throwing myself all in, piling up stress on myself where there should be none. Some people are simply not cut out for certain things, and I have no trouble admitting that there are simply things I'm not good at.

I hear there are going to be some changes around here. I hope they're for the best. I wish TMWC the best of luck in managing this game.

If I may add one more thing... I don't think the job of a GM is hard. It's not always pretty, but it's not too bad, either. Most of the time it's utterly boring. Personally, I liked it just fine. It was the TMWC member part that got to me. If there had been an option to stay as a GM, but without being a TMWC member, I would've picked that. But there isn't one, and given how things work, there can't and shouldn't be one.

Anyway, I'm not quitting the game, I'll still be around. So don't go spreading any false rumours around. In fact, I'm logged on right now, as I'm writing this.

*is hoping he'll be forgiven for another wall of text*

I respect your decision, but none of this makes any sense to me. Especially where you said that "your opinion was alone and that by itself made it wrong". I don't see how a TMWC that goes unchallenged in their every decision would be any better.

[blackrazor]

Given your explanation, I totally respect your decision, and I hope you continue to have fun in the game as a player. I also know very well what it's like to be too old and too tired to keep pouring energy into seemingly hopeless causes. But as long as you can still find the fun (as a player), then all is well. Good luck in whatever you choose to do next, and may it bring you happiness and fulfillment.

Just please don't think that you are not needed. It may be more the case that you simply have nothing left to give, which is totally okay, too.

Happy Holidays !

[melkior]

TMWC should be challenged in public by players, and not in secret. The committee is already too prone to doing things secretly.

[Frost]

I respect your decision, but none of this makes any sense to me. Especially where you said that "your opinion was alone and that by itself made it wrong". I don't see how a TMWC that goes unchallenged in their every decision would be any better.

It's not that TMWC goes unchallenged; it's that a few devs make decisions outside of TMWC, and then implement those decisions as admin, and those people aren't listening to opinions that differ from theirs.
Melkior had no real effect on the decision-making process before, and his departure will have no real effect now.

To Melkior and everyone else who has given this their best: thank you.
I'm sorry.